November 21st

With such a long, eventful day, here's hoping I remember all the details AND am able to write my reflection I came across during Benefit Concert tonight.

First I woke up early this morning (after going to bed at 2am, I got up around 730am) to print my Scientology paper I wrote last night and go to school. After school I call up Stephanie and asks if she wants to bust a mission with me. I doubt you'll ever guess the mission unless I've told you already. We went to Mainplace mall and went to this one store that sells massage chairs. We spent a good 30 minutes testing out the massage chairs to relax the pulled muscle I have in my back. It was also cool checking out all the high-tech stuff in the store. I got some Christmas shopping done for Tony, Camila, and Jem, but I've still got a long list of other people. The thing that stuck out to me the most during our mission was this electric shock that carried between me and Stephanie. Now this isn't a proverbial shock, like ooOOOOh there's sparks flying, it was like a REAL shock, like a zap, and it happened nearly every time we touched each other. Whooaaa weird...but it was great getting to know her one-on-one for the first time since we've met =D (big smile).

Next on the list was work, which was "eh whatever." Then Benefit concert. BeneCon (for short) turned out really well and I got to live out a couple of my goals/dreams. I was able to sing with the Liwanag choir (they're really good btw, and I felt blessed/honored to be up there with them) and sing with GL's Music Ministry. I don't think Tony and Camila know how jealous I am of their musical talents, and that I feel that if only I could sing or play an instrument, we could hang out more. One of my goals/dreams is to be able to sing (well). I wouldn't consider myself a good singer, but I do try. I wonder that, if I work on it, I will be able to sing well someday. hmmm... ::ponders::

A lot of people came up to me, giving props on my guitar hero skills during that portion of the concert ;)

Lastly, Jerick and I went over to the Garden Walk to go bowling for Scuba's birthday. I feel bad that Jerick didn't get to bowl, but I'll try to make it up to him and plan a bowling day/night for a couple of us during winter break. Seeing Nick Terry, Scuba, Brett, and co. just brought the energy out of me and I had a good time socializing. I don't think Ace knows this, but whenever I'm in a tricky situation, or an awkward communication situation, I sometimes think to myself, "What would Ace do/say?" It usually works. Ace would do well as a Communications major because he uses a lot of good communication techniques so naturally that I can't help but mimic it sometimes.

I'm really thankful for having someone to talk to recently. By talking to her about theology, it kind of brought my faith back to the forefront of my mind. You see, even though I LOVE the college I'm at right now, there is an interesting coincidence that, once I started going to Cal State Fullerton, my life became a whole lot more secular. I have put God out of it, being selfish and trying to find my own way recently. Through prayer, reflection, and discussions with some people I have become a little closer to God in the past couple day. When we were singing "The Stand" at BeneCon, I had really realized that I have put God in the backseat to all of my aspirations. The song really hit home to me and I understood that the less time you spend with someone, the farther you grow apart: God and I haven't been spending much time together, and it's my fault. I've been too busy for Him. (Isn't that a guilty feeling?)

I don't understand what I want from a person right now. Things seem more cloudy than clear cut. You know they say that using your car's high beams on a foggy night makes it much worse. When confused, you need to take a step back or work through it slowly so as not to make a bad judgment. The one thing I know for certain is that I'm happy with the direction my life is taking. Things are settling down and getting better. God and I are gonna have some alone time Tuesday night with my Liwanag family =)

I still haven't talked about sex for a blog. Oh well, three cheers for avoiding awkward topics ;)

"You're melting my heart, but neither of us know it."

Btw, Corky's home. He's a survivor. I'll get to see him in the morning =)