I want to cry right now, but I don't have the time. It is very realistic that my dog, Corky, will be put down Friday if the operation on his tumors fail. I also have a religions paper due Friday that I haven't started on. I still need to research and learn enough about Scientology to write a three-page paper on, but I can't seem to motivate myself enough to do it. I just spent the last couple of days just polishing and finishing my last paper, now I've got to do another one in less than half the time, while at the same time wanting to spend time with Corky, even though he can't hear or play with me. I dunno what this is going to feel like. I predict regret. I predict shamefulness. I'm going to be sitting at home one day and be like where's Corky? I haven't seen him walk around in awhile. Then it will hit me. Corky has been the one consistency in my life for as long as I can remember. I played with Corky before I started playing with video games. I've seen him everyday that I've been in this house for the past 12 to 13 years and I don't even know his age...I take him for granted. I need to go back to my essay for a class that means nothing to me academically. Scuba tells me to be positive, but I'd rather be realistic so it doesn't hurt as much.

Hopefully I'll add something later so that this isn't such a sad night.