Future Percept.

I WILL survive. I WILL persevere. I WILL make it through the fire and flames (GH3 =P). And I WILL be standing here.

Self-Esteem: no one's going to like you until you like yourself first.

I've been seeing a lot of people feeling hurt recently. A lot of people worrying. A lot of people sad, stressed, angry and frustrated. I wonder what causes them to feel this way. I heard on the radio the other day that breakups are hard, not because that you're sad/angry that you won't be with this person anymore, but because of your vision of the future has just been altered. Your "plans" have been changed, with or without your consent, and now you have to think up something else. That's sad, that's hard, changing plans. I'm often asked what makes me so positive. I really don't know the answer, but I guess my present guess would have to be my perception of the future. Now, after I got home early tonight (went to my friend Jenna's baby shower and got home around 7:30), I spent the rest of the night bored, calling people, and just sitting at the computer trying to find something to do. Now I could feel a couple different ways in this situation: I could feel abandoned, or lonely, and feel that there's nobody out there that cares enough for me. I could see it as an opportunity to rest and catch up on personal projects that I never leave enough time for. I could complain or try to make the best of it. Or I could take it for what it is: a night where many people are busy (the world doesn't revolve around me), and though it's unfortunate that I didn't get to do anything, I know the future holds happiness waiting to be grasped by me.

I'm sad, I had a dull, boring, unproductive night. But this wasn't the first one, nor will it be the last, yet I still have a great time in between. A smile is waiting for you with each sunrise, it's up to you whether to absorb it or let the clouds get in the way.

The only thing that seems to be bothering me with wasted time right now is that I'm filled with so much love, but I haven't got that person to share it with. I'm so anxious to burst with love that I'm in a rush, I just want someone to be able to experience that with me right now. I hope to find that girl who recognizes all the talents and desires I have because I know that I will, in turn, recognize and love her for all of hers. I have the self-esteem to realize that someday I'm going to find that person, and hopefully, with the blessing of God, we will be able to have kids and I will love those kids. I know that I'm destined to live my life in happiness because I know that, even in the darkest times, I will not be abandoned.

Fuddruckers for Jerick's birthday today was delicious. I'm still full (I had the last of my burger for dinner (enough to feed a small country)).