Warm Like Tea

"So this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object."

Normal night transformed into a thrill. Started when Scuba invited me over to watch Entourage. I was playing some games at the time, so I told him in a bit. Then Stephanie called and had me protect her on her way to a meeting for school (she goes to Westmont in Santa Barbara, btw) so I did my best to make sure that nobody attacked her while we were on the phone. Was pretty fun, good conversations. Then she called me again on the way back and we got into talking about Christianity and the Doctrine of the Incarnation. Very deep stuff, and I brought it up to Mike. Hopefully we can look into it for her (if she sends me the article...).

Then off to Scuba's. My favorite Entourage of the year. I'm not going to spoil it if there's any Entourage fans here that haven't seen it, but needless to say order has been restored to Vinny and the boys. Then the most unexpected happened. We busted out Scuba's old toys from when he was a kid and started looking at all of them. He had the most toys I had EVER seen. And they were cool toys too, like wrestlers, DBZ, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Small Soldiers, Dragon Riders, X-Men just to name a few. It was like being a kid again. I started playing with the wrestlers and it brought back memories of when I would sit in my room for hours on end, entertaining myself with those little action figures fighting. Was really good. We also had a really good conversation about Batman and how we think the next movies will play out, as well as a debate on who would be appropriate in the story line. It really would be great to see my man Johnny Depp as the Riddler, but that's just me =)

I know I've been hurt when I can see myself guarding my emotions more as I get closer to people, especially girls. If you haven't been able to tell, I'll start saying something, then all of a sudden get real vague about it, especially when it comes to writing these blogs and I know a few people read them. It's hard to live your life like you've never been hurt, and it's tough to take the risks of moving out of that friendship relationship into something more intimate, especially if you don't know the other party's feelings. I really wish I was able to dive right into things. Sometimes I think that I calculate too much, or expect too much because a lot has always been expected of me. Sometimes I think that I'm more worried about losing friends than taking our relationship to the next level and that can be both good and bad. Good in a sense that things aren't awkward and you have a trusting friendship. Bad because if you never take that risk, you never know what it feels like to have an intimate relationship with someone. If you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, you won't receive that affection you desire. Someone to truly SHARE and COMMUNICATE with. This isn't just bf/gf relationships, but also the bond of strong friendships. To be true friends a lot of people will say that they need to love each other unconditionally. I respectfully disagree because I believe that a strong relationship emerges from loving selflessly (not unconditionally alone) and holding each other accountable to their actions. I'll make a little analogy (because I like doing things like that =P) that I gave to my sister today in regards to her soccer. Challenge each other, go 100% even when the rest of the world is telling you not to, because you can only get better. The second you stop striving to get better, you become complacent, you become obsolete, and you are passed up and washed away by the current. In football, I wouldn't originally compare myself to being very good. I was going to be content with just making Junior Varsity. But when I was given the opportunity to become a starter at Defensive End, I knew I had to get better. Every day at every practice, I would tell Fabian (my friend and our Left Tackle) to go 100% on me, and I would do the same for him. I asked him questions about linemen and how to get past them. I became better because he proved to be a very strong opponent I strove to overcome and he became better because he had a possessed, deaf SOB running at him every 30 seconds ;) What I'm trying to say is that a relationship should make both sides better. It should be a challenge that both are willing to accept and a goal to strive for. If a relationship doesn't make you better, or if there's nothing that you're bringing to the relationship that's important, is it really that close of a bond? Then again it's also ok to have those relationships that don't have those things, but you know which one you should prioritize.

Haha, enough of my uneducated babbling. I want to prioritize some things because I can see my heart is beginning to warm up again <3