Fears

I'm not the type of guy who gets scared very often, but when I do, it's usually about the unknown. I used to be scared to take medicine pills for fear of choking on them. It was unknown to me whether I would choke and die due to taking the pill and was scared for many years to go through with it. I used to be scared of rollercoasters. I was afraid of that my seatbelt would break, or the ride attendant would forget to lock my shoulder straps or any of the other things that might go wrong on a ride. I like to be in control of my actions, but when your 100 yards in the air in a fast moving rollercoaster, it's very hard to be in complete control of your fate. I used to be afraid of the dark, I wouldn't sleep with the light off because when you can't see, you can't know. I used to be afraid to play sports, what if I wasn't any good? I did not know.

I did not know, and you will never know, unless you do it. I can relate my fears to my relationship with God. I was afraid of pills, afraid to receive God through mouth, through the Eucharist. I was afraid of rollercoasters, not knowing in the ups and downs where my relationship with God will take me. I was afraid of the dark, afraid of what I can't see. I was afraid to play sports, afraid that maybe it was God that I needed in order to succeed.

A new fear has come up recently: I have a cavity. I know what you're thinking -Boo hoo everyone gets those, they don't hurt- That's not what I'm afraid of. I have a cavity on one of my wisdom teeth. -Waaaaa, so what?- The dentist wants to pull all my wisdom teeth. -I did it, so can you.- Ok, no big deal right? My fear is of anesthesia. I'm afraid of being put to sleep unnaturally (I always have been afraid of that), and I'm afraid that there's a chance that I won't wake up. I know that people go into anesthesia every day and always come out fine. I still fear that I will be one of the exceptions. Most people won't make big deals about this, but this is one of the few things I fear. In all seriousness, please pray for me. Thanks =)