Today’s Liwanag (Light of God, LoG, etc.) meeting focused on “passion.” I showed up late because I was coaching a baseball game, which we won 4-0 =) But when I got there my St. Margaret family was already sharing about their passions. I was kind of confused because I didn’t get to prepare myself on how to respond and I missed talks about passion by fellow Liwanag members. I felt kind of lost, but I tried my best to think of what to say after each member of my family shared. It was very hard for me to think what I was passionate about. I remember a drawing on my friend’s, Mark’s, heart paper. It was a scale not unlike you see in hospitals measuring the heartbeat. You know, the one with the beeping sounds. Well this got me thinking about how I’m struggling to find what I’m passionate about. You see, when a heart beats, blood is flowing in and out of the heart. When blood comes in, the heart expands. When blood leaves, the heart shrinks. I find this a great representation for the passions in my life, and I feel a lot of people could agree in their own lives. When we receive blood (love, motivation, inspiration and people in our lives) our heart (passion) gets bigger and swells up with all of these good things. We become passionate about what we want to do. But then these things leave our lives (fight with friends, boredom, tragic event, loss of interest), the blood flows out, the passion shrinks like the heart. I think this cycle constantly continues, with what people are passionate about constantly fluctuating. In my life, I’ll be passionate about different things on different days: one day it will be passion to build strong relationships, the next it will be about succeeding to please God; the next it will be working hard at sports, baseball and football; and even other days it will be about my writing, like this blog.
I think our passion varies with the amount of love we have in our lives, but we can’t be passionate about everything. I had a conversation with a friend recently talking about if too much of a good thing could be bad. If blood is constantly flowing into the heart and we try to be passionate about everything, we’ll explode. The heart can only take so much work and blood before becoming damaged. We needed to be careful and choose wisely what we are passionate about. That’s funny how this person inspires me and one of the things we talked about made sense on my topic without ever thinking about it. I wonder if she’ll read that.
I actually pulled a muscle at Liwanag today. Goes to show how tough that place is =P When I got home, I parked on the street and began walking up the driveway. I turned around thinking that we might have the street sweeper come tomorrow, but instead I saw my hat lying on the ground. Boy was I thankful, but when I opened the door, it cut a big gash in my chest about 5 inches long. It was funny how I thanked God for finding my beanie b4 I walked off, but I felt I deserved the cut. It was God’s small way of saying, I wasn’t happy about your actions earlier today. I deserved it.
What am I passionate about? It fluctuates, but what I WANT to be passionate about is my love for God and growing in it each day: living my life accordingly, and letting people experience Jesus through my actions. Now I need the blood to create passion in me.
Sleep time =)
