Living Hardcore-Status

Sometimes bad things happen to us so we can appreciate all the good things in our lives.

You may or may not agree with this statement, heck, I'm not even sure I agree with this statement, but it's something that popped into my mind as I sit here thinking about what to write about today.

Monday was great. We got to play some hardcore basketball vs. the Vietnamese Catholic group, the Mustard Seeds, at K-Fed in the morning. I woke up early, ready to get started for a hecka long day, but the day turned out even longer than I could have ever expected. After basketball (and NOT getting sunburnt, woo!), Scuba and I got some Corner Bakery. I was looking to save money, but whenever somebody mentions Corner Bakery, I curse their name then proceed to stuff my face with a grilled panini and chips. After CB, Scuba and I rolled over to Brittney's place to help her shoot a video for a job interview she was preparing for. The job is a sales job where she would have to sell apartments to grad students. We had fun shooting the video, and I was very proud of myself to be able to finish editing it in under two hours. Brittney asked if we were going to karaoke that night with one of the Liwanag families. I honestly didn't know about it, but once I found out where it was and who was going, I was on board. Scuba and I went home to shower, eat, and change (kinda like gym, tan, laundry, but not), then I got caught up watching Dragon Ball Z. Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo almost prevented us from hanging out with our friends that night, but I got a call from the one and only Ronneza Penalba. She wanted to go to karaoke and needed a ride. If there's one fault I have, it's the inability to say "no" very often. However, when it comes to Nez, I think it's more than an inability, I think it's impossible for me to say no to her. I've got a lot of respect for Nez, and if there's ever been anybody who has always treated me with respect and never rubbed me the wrong way, it's her. I knew that Scuba would no longer want to go to karaoke if he knew he had to pick up Nez, so for the second time that day, I drove out to Irvine. We all had a great time singing and dancing to karaoke, and I'm glad I went. My favorite part was definitely TAKING PICTURES. Since Spring Banquet, I've really wanted it to be my mission to capture as many memories as possible between now and this time next year (especially since this is probably my last year of college). Let's make the memories last.

Yesterday was a mixed bag. Worked all day, then got home to find my parents home from their vacation. I was pretty stoked to see them, so I came inside ready to give them some big hugs. What I got instead was dirty looks and silence. I didn't vacuum the house. I guess I'm going to hell. This bothered me a lot because I hadn't seen my parents in almost two weeks and the thing they were worried about the most was that the carpet was slightly dirty. I understand it was my responsibility and that I effed up by not vacuuming, but is it really THAT big of a deal to spend the next 15 minutes yelling at me and telling me how disappointed they are in me and telling me to move out. Needless to say, I was definitely not high up there on the way to Liwanag's end of the year meeting where I knew we would be doing affirmations for each other.

I'm glad last night was affirmations, I really needed that. Loved, understood, appreciated are the emotions I felt after last night, and it was very uplifting. Even if it was for a little while (more like 6 hours or something, whoa) I was able to forget about my home issues and just kick it with some of my closest friends. For records keeping I was able to affirm Mark Estrada, Charmaine, Mel, Markee, Gerard, Jamie Obal, Ace, Christian, Kristina, Genie, Noemi, Lisa, Paul Baretto, Clarisse, Hazel, Victoria, Brittney, and King Chris. I wasn't able to get to everyone, but I was able to have a meaningful conversation with each person I talked with, and that's what matters. Sometimes I felt my affirmations were "sucky" cause they weren't very "eloquent" or I wouldn't remember any of the major times me and this person had shared together. Scuba says he thinks it's because my mind was somewhere else with things bothering me, but I still felt bad.

Loved. Every person I talked to told me that I had made an impact on their lives with the little gestures.
Understood. People knew more things about me than I knew of myself.
Appreciated. The sacrifices I make for this family do not go unnoticed.

There's so much more I could blog about like how much Genie teaching me guitar meant to me, or how glad I am that Mark Estrada started coming out to Liwanag, or how I understand what it means to be part of the 714 and try to be part of a family in the 949 like Victoria. I could talk about how cool it is to kick it with King Chris as we feed off each others' jokes, or how no matter how long it's been since Ace and I have kicked it we act like it was jut yesterday, or how talking with Charmaine has given me a sense of closure and understanding and a strengthening bond for the future.

There's so many memories, some are so overwhelming, but there are times I feel like I don't deserve them. This hasn't been my best year. I've been struggling, but seeing that I can have this kind of effect on people even in my lowest moments reminds me of how great I can be during my highest points. My friends are my support system, and with them and God, I can live...hardcore-status. ;)