Nervous Prayer

Even when I'm frustrated, I just want to finish my homework, and I don't want to talk to anyone, you still make me SMILE. How do you do that...?

Last night at Liwanag, Anna asked me if I would like to lead in closing prayer. I was nervous and asked if I could do it next week. She seemed to turn away disappointed, and I felt called to change my mind. I went up there during the Our Father and my heart was beating a million miles per hour. I had no idea what I wanted to pray for, and I really didn't feel in the right mindset to be up there. When we were singing, my voice was shaky as the anxiety covered me like a blanket. The first thing I said was "What's up God?" then "God, I'm really nervous right now, but I know I shouldn't be. Talking to You is never unsettling." I didn't feel as nervous anymore. I don't entirely know if everything I said was "theologically correct" but it came from the heart, and I was honest with God. I wish I could pray aloud the same way I pray to God before I sleep each night. I pray to Him as if we're hanging out and just talking. He's the one sitting at the table that can make everything right. I'm the lowly servant asking for His help, but He shows how good He really is by letting me sit at His table, enjoy His company, and really speak with Him. I've always wanted to pray/talk/reflect in front of my friends, but it's scary when I want to do it for the wrong reasons. To do it with God, for God, that's what makes everything right.

Quote: "Let God be God", and let you be you. We're nothing without God.