Welcome home, home is the place where you will always have some connection to, someone who loves you. If that's the truth, I never left home this weekend. I went with my good friends in Liwanag up to Arrowhead lake for Liwanag's annual winter retreat. It was an amazing weekend that some could argue had the possibility of being overshadowed by all the disasters that accompanied it, but I beg to differ. Core won't admit it, but I'm sure they planned the opening "icebreaker" of getting our cars stuck in the snow (jay kay! hahah). We broke the ice alright...the ice off the ground. =P
This weekend was so great that I think I'll go over the whole thing. It all started Friday night when I got home from an 8 hour CPR training that started at 8am. I went online to check my myspace/facebook/mail/the usual, only to find out that apparently we were not leaving that night. There was a huge storm coming in and we thought it would be safer to go up early Saturday. Turns out that was a great decision. Cars were literally BURIED in the snow as we drove up there (it was quite a sight). I ended up spending the night in Irvine (I can't remember if I stayed at Ace's house or a place more familiar *coughhahacough* ;) ) and the four of us executed the TRIFORCE. With the powers of Ace, Han, and I we created enough strength to protect Jem from monsters...but there was something we WEREN'T expecting! (ask me about it later =P) Triforce ended up failing, but we did end up being the first ones at Interfaith. We were supposed to leave by 530, but people were still showing up until around 7, so we ended up leaving at 730. I was in the car with RJ driving and Abby and Janice. I was thankful to be in the car with RJ because he had driven up the mountain before and knew how to drive. I got to know him better and he was a really cool guy. Hope to see him around Liwanag more.
When we got to the check point to put on our chains, everyone got out of the car and was amazed. The place was beautiful! The snow was soft and fluffy and a lot of us had never seen real snow before. We started playing and freezing our hands, while helping the drivers put on their chains at the same time. It was awesome.
Unfortunately, RJ locked his keys in his car (which was running) so he, Gerard, Mel, Abby, and Toni stayed back to wait with him for the towtruck to come open up the car. Everyone else went up the mountain to get the retreat started. It was kind of a bummer, but we had some good bonding time throwing snow and make a snowman. RJ got off the phone with AAA and it turned out that they wouldn't be there for 2 hours! So we decided to do it ourselves. We spent a good 45 minutes with the help of all these other people that were stopping at the checkpoint to get the door open enough to hit the UNLOCK button for the car. It was really great of those people to help us. We were just random strangers to them, but they saw us in need and decided to give us that boost. They were really images of Christ.
We got the door open and drove up the mountain to the cabins. We got there just in time to see everyone working hard to pull Jordan's car out of the snow. Turns out that they didn't start the retreat yet, and were working on getting people's cars out of the snow. Long-story short we needed to get all of those cars out of that area before the next storm would hit later that night, but RJ's car was stuck. We worked for a good 2-3 hours digging snow and breaking ice to get RJ's car out of there with all the guys working hard and with a little help from the neighbors.
I came inside to see everyone real quiet, cold, and bummed out. I was thinking to myself, "this is a retreat. We shouldn't be worrying about our suffering and should really be counting our blessings: the love we have in the room, the connections we share with each other, and God's present company. So I decided to tell a joke...yes THE joke...the one from Larry: Wanna know why I like bananas? Because they have APPEAL!!! Everyone laughed and started talking again. Jordan whispered to me, that was real good timing on that joke. It made me smile and feel God's love around the room.
We ended up getting all the cars out and leaving that day because we didn't want to be stuck in the snow, which really was the best thing we could do. Core did a really good job of bringing everyone together and resetting the retreat back at Shawshank, the place I blogged about on an earlier day. We got there, continued the retreat, and ended the next day with an AWESOME Eucharist.
You know what they say, what happens on the retreat stays on the retreat, but I can tell you how I felt. This was an awesome experience. When we were stuck in the snow, irritable, hungry, tired, and cold, it was really a testimony of our faith. The suffering we went through in that one day is nothing compared to the suffering Jesus took upon himself for us. And just like Jesus had help carrying his cross, so did we with our cars. It just seemed unfortunate that help had to offer itself instead of us asking for it. To really be humble, we must know when we should give up control, give it up to God, and ask for help. I ended up calling my dad and asking him for pointers on how to get out of the snow. He gave me great information and was really glad that I called. He wasn't mad at me like he usually is and instead helped out. It was a little too late because the neighbors ended up helping, but I will always remember his words of advice and never be ashamed to ask him for help.
One of the main reasons I went on this retreat was to be served. I wanted to go on a retreat for myself and experience God's love without having to worry about leading others. God gave me a little piece of His mind on Saturday: It's okay to be one of the lambs, but never disregard the blessing and wisdom I have given you just to "be like 'everyone else'". Instead of trying to take charge like I would normally do, I gave control to God and helped in the best way I knew how: to bring His love to others. I spent all of Saturday making people laugh, sing, and have a good time forgetting about the suffering we had endured. It reminded me that we were stronger than we presumed, and God gives us that strength. It was great to remember why we were all there.
A couple of my favorite parts of the retreat: Mark and I searching for something to use as a sled. Mark really fueled my innocence and helped me remember to be a child of God by enjoying His beauty. We ran around the snow exploring and having a good time. We even started a snowball fight with the rest of the guys coming back from pushing the cars, it was AWESOME.
Another favorite part was the second snowball fight we had, which started with Charlene and Jake chasing me when I really had to pee! It was Ram-man, Gerard, and I (Ace eventually came over to the dark side ;) ) vs. EVERYONE. It was really epic, and Nez went crazy Kamakazing us
Another favorite was when Ace and I had our little talk on the stairs at Shawshank. We were getting real deep until everyone else started joining in. It wasn't as deep anymore, but it was still great because then we were able to share our experiences with our loving friends and community.
Same thing when we had small groups. We really had great discussions about God's love and when we have ever stopped ourselves from receiving that love and why. It felt really good to share, and I got to know Andrew for the first time.
I have grown on this retreat, not exponentially or profoundly, but enough. Lately, God has really been showing me signs of why I'm here and doing what I'm doing at a time where I really don't know what to do. I really don't want to be a leader for the rest of my life, but at the same time I realize that that is a gift God has blessed me with. It reminds me of the bible story of the 3 guys that were given talents. Two of them took their talents and made more back. The last one took his talent and buried it in the sand so that it would be the same way his master gave it to him when he came back. The master was furious that he had not used his talent and took it away from him. Friday, I had a good realization. I learned that the reason I'm competitive is not because I want to be better than others, but because I want to use my full potential at everything I do. If I don't try as hard as I can, I feel like I'm wasting my talents.
Mad shout-outs to Ace, Mark, Charlene, Jem, Anna, RJ, and Abby for giving me their support and helping me help others as we all strengthened each other.
There's so much more I want to talk about, but everything is really scattered right now. Just remember that we're all connected by God's love, and that love that we share with each other gives us a home. Together, we are a community. Together with love, we are a family. Together with love, compassion, understanding, faithfulness, and trust, we are a home. There's no place like home.
