Goodbye Corky

Because I'm always so positive, it feels really hard to be sad even when it's warranted. Today we put Corky, my dog for 13 years, down. Today was a busy day. The full extent of what had happened did not fully register with me until I got home tonight and noticed his water dish and bowl gone. I will admit that I cried. I cried hard. I will sincerely miss Corky who has been there with me through every major milestone of my life. For those wondering what happened, the short version is that he was old and in a lot of pain. He could barely get up, and when he couldn't he would piss and poop on himself. This is what happened Friday, and we were lucky that I had coincidentally taken the day off.

"so i took the day off work yesterday
and i was just chillin at home
went to eat breakfast at like 1230 or 1
and as i was eating i hear corky howling and whining like he's in trouble
i go outside and he's underneath the table struggling in his own wastes
and after helping him and cleaning him up i thought to myself, if i didn't take the day off work, he would have been struggling for another 3 hours until someone came home"

If I wasn't there, my dog could have died in such a painful humiliating struggle. By telling my parents what had happened, I was essentially sealing Corky's fate. Do I know if this is what he wanted? No. Did I want to see him suffer the indignity of what he was already facing even worse and end in so much pain and suffering? No.

I didn't actually know that we were putting him down today. I found out during my softball tournament in Huntington. My sister had gotten in a fight with my parents the night before, and I had thought that they postponed everything, but I was wrong. I called my sister after the first game to let my dad know that I wouldn't be home until after 7 to meet up at my Aunt Trisha's birthday because the championship game would be around that time. When my sister answered, I could hear the crack in her voice and the faint whisper "We're at the vet right now." That's all I needed to know. I said my prayers for Corky and for my family and thanked God for putting such a blessing in my life. I went on to finish the tournament, and we ended up losing, but not before I got banged up on my knees from diving and sliding in shorts. The day ended with me feeling a lot of pain both mentally and physically. The bright spot in my day was seeing my family and catching up with my cousin Chelsea at Dave and Busters. I can tell she's proud of me for the direction I'm going with my internship, which means a lot to me because she was somewhat of my inspiration for choosing Communications as a major.

I don't no how to end this. So...end.