Quick Before My Battery Dies (NEED TO BLOG BIG SOON)

Dude, okay. I finally get a chance to blog, but it's at the one time that I don't have any time (I need to wake up at 7 tomorrow). My internet has been out at night for the last 3 days, and all three of those days I stayed up late enough to blog at any time, but couldn't (3am-ish). I wanted to talk about Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, finally getting a chance to catch up with Tony and Camila after so long, love, hate, and everything in between. I wanted to write a poem, something that I haven't done in quite awhile (I only write poems when I am struck by such profound feelings, or new feelings that I've never experienced before and would like to try to describe them through rhyme).

It's been quite a week to say the least. My time at Boys and Girl's Club is coming to an end, as well as my 3rd to last semester of college. My grandma is doing good after her major surgery to remove the colon cancer. She's a trooper, but I missed her crazy feisty-ness at Thanksgiving (she only stayed for a little while before wanting to be taken home, so I had to pick her up and drive her all the way back in a matter of two to three hours). Thanksgiving sure was different this year with the only immediate family there being my grandma, grandpa, and cousin besides my parents and sister. I was glad to have them all there nonetheless.

A friend of mine seems to hate me, and I'm not too fond of her right now. It seems that we're both being stubborn, yet we both have equal right to be. During mass today, I let go of some of my anger, but I still didn't feel strong enough to pick up the phone and give her a call. Remember when I said that I like to write poems when I experience an entirely new feeling? Well, this is one of those feelings, and I don't know how to describe it. I'm angry with her for what happened, but that doesn't change that I want to help, but at the same time I feel like my help is rejected, so I'm doing the best I can without talking to her about it. It hurts, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I've gotten beat up by my friend, yet I think she feels the same way.

I haven't been very good at expressing my feelings in public lately. I realized this tonight when a friend of mine started talking about relationships and love at dinner, and I was kind of taken aback. I realized that I haven't talked like he did in over a year. Am I missing love? Am I being more closed about it? I definitely don't talk about it anymore, especially in public. I miss being in love, it was a good feeling back then..