Good Sunday

I've been in need of a day like this for a long time. Things have been pretty surreal lately, and I needed something familiar and not too crazy. I started off the day by waking up early and driving over to the Pascual's new house. Mike, Law, Beverly and I went over to LMU to drop Beverly off at the dorms and go to mass. It was the start of a LONG relaxing day. I don't know if it was just me, but today felt like one of the longer days in awhile. We got some food, then headed back to play some NBA 2K10 and work on my class schedule for next semester. Tony came over and we all drafted our fantasy basketball teams (I got the first pick and I really like this team much better than my Liwanag team). Speaking of Liwanag, it feels like it's been missing a beat lately. I know Benefit Concert is coming up and there's lots of practice, it's earlier in the year, etc., but it feels like a diet Pepsi to a regular Pepsi. It's almost as if there's something missing. It might be just me, but it feels like a lot of the themes and topics have been playing it safe instead of really diving into the importance of God's love (which to me is your relationship with Him, and in turn, your relationship with those around you). I know it's early, and I might just be picky, but I'm thirsting for something deeper, and my mouth has been pretty dry the last couple of months.

Not a lot of people know this, especially because I haven't told anyone in person, but my grandma is in the hospital right now. She's going to be having surgery to hopefully remove the colon cancer inside of her. Please pray for her. She's a fighter, and she'll probably kick the cancer's ass, then have another cigarette afterward just to spite the cancer. I get my stubbornness from my dad's side of the family ;)

I went clubbing on Thursday and had a great time. The person I went with was awesome, and I got to hear Steve Aoki DJ for the first time. I realize that this is the type of situation I need right now: having fun without responsibilities, but also supporting each other. It's a good mix right now (which is a change of pace from my often pro-relationship feelings).

As I was looking up the remaining classes that I need to take before I graduate, I discovered that 90% of these classes fall during the time when I'm supposed to be at work for BGC. This brings up a dilemma, the same one that has been chasing me for the last two years: sacrifice my school for my job, and in this case, ultimately sacrifice my health care, education, and sanity for a steady paycheck. The paycheck poses a huge issue because, ever since I began working the day I turned 18, I have never been unemployed. Nor do I want to be unemployed. I plan on finding a new job soon that will be more flexible with the hours that I'm going to need. Is a waiter position in my immediate future? I know my main incentive would be tips, but my main weakness would be hearing the customer's orders. ::SIGH:: Gotta find an internship SOON!

I'm probably going to write you a letter someday, but I'm not sure. I feel like I shouldn't have to. I feel like your putting me on the backburner as if this doesn't affect me. I know it exponentially affects you a LOT more, but you have to take into account my feelings when you put this on me. I can't just be an emotional dumpster for you. I love you too much to sit back and not say anything, but if that's what you want me to do, then I'm not going to make any effort at all until you want it. It just hurts too much trying to talk to someone who won't listen.

I finished the day playing Warcraft 3 at Scuba's house and pumping myself up for basketball tomorrow. I always look forward to Monday's now.